Here’s a scary thought. Will all elections one day be executed exclusively online, whether from home or at the local polling place? What could possibly go wrong?

Meanwhile, down at the polls, a volunteer laments, “We’re sorry, Mr. John Q. Voter, our system is down again.” Enter the brave new world of computerized voting. Exit the tangible paper trail of hard-copy ballots. Will the tried and true thus become outdated and obsolete? No more hanging chads? No more mismarked ballots?

Instead, shall all votes one day be nothing more than bits and bytes afloat in the ether of cyberspace, safe and secure from any and all hackers, Russian or otherwise?

Safe and secure. Right. And I’m-a ‘da Pope. To paraphrase Monty Python, does the cosmic recount from Hell await us all with nasty big pointy teeth?

Some say voting machines are prone to error. Excuse me? Machines don’t err.

People do. Could it be the only glitches in any balloting system are incompetent voters?

I dare say we’ve managed to suffer a small percentage of such twits throughout our history; and if the status quo weeds out the votes of the chronically stupid, so be it.

Perhaps radio personality Rush Limbaugh put it best: “I have a message for all of you stupid people out there. Don’t go to the polls!”

Is cyber-voting inevitable? Must we trust any digital system to be unhackable?

Fear not. It’ll be government issue. Our tax dollars at work. Really? I feel so much better. Be reminded of how the late great journalist and satirist H. L. Mencken described democracy: “It’s where the people get what they want, good and hard.”

Given the sanctity of the franchise, might miscreants found guilty of tampering with computer balloting merit the death penalty? Nah. That’d be cruel and unusual. Life in prison would do.

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